Hey guys, this is my first ever blog - I'm new to this, but I really want to share my thoughts and some of my personal experiences. Let me know what you think and if it helps, especially if you're going through something similar.
What is a popular loner?
To me, the definition of a popular loner is an individual who knows a lot of people and a lot of people know them, but they still feel alone and isolated. Being in this position is generally hard for people because the feeling comes for different reasons that you don’t quite understand and I should know. For me, it’s like being a celebrity, Whitney Houston for example, she had money, friends, fame etc, but apparently she was still unsatisfied and felt alone. According to online reports, Whitney would just sit with Michael Jackson at times because he was the only one who could understand how isolated she felt1 (Rolling Stone, 2018). In my opinion, her loneliness was part of the problem that led to her death.
Money, drugs or fame won’t actually solve your problems, you need to find what is at the root of how you feel, otherwise, you can try and cover up the wound, but it will still be there. If you are feeling lonely even though you have so many people around you, please find someone to talk to; find help (check out the useful links at the end of this blog). In the meantime, if you are in the position where you are stopping yourself from socialising or going out and doing everyday tasks because of how you are feeling, I would say don’t. I think it makes things worse when you isolate yourself; go out, have a change of environment. Sometimes, you will be surprised at how fast your mood can change. Having a change of environment and fresh air can really help to take your mind of things. So try not to say no or turn down invitations, try them and see how it works for you.
I know everyone is different and sometimes you really might not be feeling it, but for me, sometimes I step into an environment and my mood would stay the same, but other times my mood changes in minutes. I encourage everyone to try it.
Oh yeah, if you don’t take anything else from this message today take this, don’t ever stress, but carry on as usual and trust that the right circle will be created for you and in due time and you will be surrounded by people that are beneficial to you even though things don’t seem too hopeful now. Trust in the process. Sometimes though, you may need to look at things from a different angle, deep it… At times being alone is an upgrade; there is clearly a reason you feel like this. For me I realised I’m not like everyone else, so I take it as taking time for myself to plan for my success and excellence, so while people my age are out every weekend partying for like 5 hours, I am at home listening to online business seminars, writing or doing something productive. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be 5 years ahead than have 5 hours of fun. Also, always: try and see the positives to every situation in life, achieve and aim high.
Please feel free to comment your personal experiences and ask any questions you may have, I would be more than happy to reply to you all.
Written by AGL